Self-love public entries

Mr. Charan Singh 

 26 June, Monday:

 I made a 76-year-old friend named Charan Singh Oberoi. On this fine evening, this retired English lecturer confidently introduced himself and took hold of a long conversation about life. Mr. Charan has survived two brain strokes. He also boasts of a heart attack in which he carried himself to the hospital with his hands on his chest. Despite the brain stroke affecting the volume and pace of his words he kept flaunting his fitness and fluency. I found myself asking him a question I had never gotten a chance to ask any old person in my lifetime. " What makes you want to live so much at this age?" This was my genuine query for somebody who could not afford ambitions or aspire for worldly pleasures. To my surprise, this question delighted him, and he thanked me for asking it. 

As anyone can guess, the answer wrapped the entire evening, including a live demonstration of yoga poses! He also asked me to refrain from meat, alcohol, and smoking (as if my face was giving him the vibe of a marijuana addict). He said he wants to live to witness the skies, the birds, the trees, and the earth every day. He said he loves himself too much to want to die and asked me to love myself too. He believes in the universe and the work it had done to make me meet him. Self-love is certainly not a Gen Z invention and with this interaction, my defeat in my resistance against self-love was complete.

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19th July, Wednesday

An old friend from a school I had attended in the past happened to be in the same city I was in. We met and I showed him a few places through my eyes, which now carry (-0.25) of error in image formation. 

The fact that after a tiring day, he went back to his place and cooked for himself was a little strange for a person like me. He cooks for others too, family, friends, his flatmates and of course the latest sweet offer for me to have his hospitality. Still, this day I called him he was cooking for himself. 

He cooks for himself like someone would cook for others. When I called, he was brewing jackfruit and had his dough ready for 4 chapatis. There was no one to share the meal with. It was all for himself. He could have made noodles, pasta, eaten some fruit, had some snacks, ordered food from Zomato, could have gone out to some Dhaba or restaurant.  Yet, he chose to cook, all for himself, and dine well after a tiring day. 

I am not aware of anyone for whom I can guess that they would cook for themselves after a tiring day. It is still hard to find men who cook and cook well, let alone cook a tasty dinner, all for themselves.

Someone who cooks the best, my mother, hardly cooks when there is no one to exhaust herself praising her food. Of course, there is gender disparity in self-love. Yet, anyone who loves cooking and cooks often hardly ever eats alone. I'll always remember Kartik as a man who cooks for himself. Often, after a tiring day.

He is a standard I have set for the love I am planning to give to myself.

Kartika taking a break in Delhi Ridge

23rd August,  Wednesday 

Distance really lends enchantment to the view. Dad has been cooking for himself, for a week now and would continue doing so till September arrives. He has the choice to avail good food for free. It's going to take a while when my mum would be there for help and company.  Yet he chooses to cook and clean all by himself. Has always done so. Cooked for his kids too, when we used to stay with him. Despite us being fully grown adults. 

Ofcourse, people, places, choices, rituals and love close to us often go under-appreciated.

I try to make sure this isn't the case often. Maybe self-love is also admiring and appreciating all the magic and privilege you are surrounded with, in the humblest way possible. 

Also, I feel sorry to break it to the world but my dad is the best.

Daddy